Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A Big Decision

As a high school senior, each decision is a critical one because it determines what direction your life will go.  At this point of my life, not only I had a decision to make regarding what university to attend by also if I wanted to continue my relationship with Ricardo. After his confession, I got me thinking about how I felt for him and if I truly had gotten over Diego.

The next day, I needed to speak to Ricardo about my doubts of which university to attend, we initially had planned that I would attend UCLA with him but now that I received this letter, I'm not sure anymore. That morning I decided to drive myself to school; daily I felt too dependent on Ricardo, and I just needed some alone time. I arrived to school around 7:30am, I decided to sit down under the tree by the old bench, I just needed to think about my choices and my priorities.
               “Reyna, what are you doing here so early?” my friend Karina sat next to me.
               “Well, I just needed time to think.”
               “About?”
               “Well, yesterday I got my acceptance from USC.”
               “What! OMG! Congrats.” She hugged me. “Why don’t you seem happy?” she asked.
               “I am but now I’m torn between two schools and I don’t know which school to choose.” I told her. Karina and I talked for a while and she told me to visualize where I do I see myself going and don’t base my decision just to please someone. She was right, but even if I take out Ricardo from the picture which school is more suited for me. After thinking about it for a while, my mind was made up, USC. Now, how was I going to break the news to Ricardo, he was looking forward to start a new chapter of our lives together.
 
The bell rang, I started to walk to class, “Reyna, hey.” I heard someone called me, I turn around, it was Diego. “Diego, hey.” It had been a while since I last spoke to Diego. “How you been?”
 “Stressed out.” I smiled. Things between Diego and I were unsteady, in other words, we were neither friends nor strangers. After a couple weeks I had started dating Ricardo, Diego and I started talking again, mostly due to school work. Then he started working at my job so we interacted a lot.
               “I could imagine. So, hey how is the car doing?” he asked me.
               “It’s running better, thanks.”
I smiled, before I walked away, he grab my hand. and said, “I want to be your friend again.” I looked away. “I know I screwed things up, and I’m sorry but I just want to gain your trust again.” The second bell rang, I look at Diego, "I can’t deal with this now.” And I walked away. I didn’t want to get close to Diego again especially if I’m had doubts about my relationship with Ricardo.
 
While Reyna was struggling to maintain focus on her priorities and avoiding Diego and Ricardo, Stephanie and Brenda were planning their next move.
              “We have Diego, but that’s not enough.” Stephanie told Brenda.
               “Hey didn’t you tell me that Ricardo is a jealous person. We could let his jealously be the destruction of their relationship." Brenda said.
              “Yeah but I want more than that. Oh, I have an idea, adding to what you’re were saying. What if we get Ricardo to do what Diego did to her a year ago?”
              “Sounds like a good plan, but how will we do that?" Brenda added.
While Stephanie was planning her own revenge on Reyna, Brenda on the other hand was planning a bigger attack on her. As they made their way to class, Brenda overheard Reyna and Lucia talking in the hallway,
            "I don't know how I'm going to tell Ricardo that I'm going to USC rather than UCLA."
            "I'm sure he will understand whatever choice you make." Lucy tried to comfort Reyna.
Brenda figured if she continued to be Reyna's friend, she would be able to use the information she gains to ruin her.
            "Hey Reyna. Did I just hear that you got in to USC?" she asked.
            "Oh yeah, I got the notice 2 days ago."
            "Congrats girl." She smiled.
           "Have you heard anything?" Reyna asked.
           "No, but I decided to go to UC Berkeley instead."
Every time I finished an exam I felt if my brain was going to burst and when I came out from AP calculus that day I felt 2 times worst. The thought of me failing an exam got me into a panic mood,
        "Breathe." Jocelyn told me.
I walked out the classroom calmed and relaxed,
        "Feeling better." she asked.
        "I think so, I'm just scared."
        "I'm sure you do great. You always worry for nothing."
We started walked over to the cafeteria. Today I decided to do hangout with my friends for a change. It had been a while since I dedicated some time to them.
         “Hey.” I sat down next to Lucy in the table.
         “Wow, now you want to hangout with us." Karina said.
          “I know, I'm sorry, you know school and work."
          “Or with Ricardo, anyways where is he? Usually aren’t you together right now.” Melissa added.
           “Yeah, but I needed some time with my friends.”
           “You’re avoiding him huh?” Karina asked.
            “Just a little.” I smiled.
It was a miracle that I had time to have friends. It felt nice to be with friends for a change. Now that I think about it I did spend most of my time with Ricardo rather than my friends. I felt undermined by my boyfriend like he would make all the decisions and there were times in which he would not leave me alone. In a way he was pushing me away, which my decision more easier. My phone vibrated several times until I decided to turn it off.
            “Just go talk to him.” Karina told me. 
             “What’s going on?” Melissa asked.
             “Reyna got accepted to USC and doesn’t know how to break the news to Ricardo.”
             “OMG, congrats.” Melissa congratulated me.
As I got up to throw my lunch away, I saw Diego walking in my direction. I thought to myself, I can’t let my friends see me talking to him. “Hey.” Diego greeted me. I looked away, I stepped away from him, “What’s wrong?” he asked. I made sure that my friends didn’t see me. “I can’t talk.” He glances at my friends, “Oh.” I smiled and walked back to my friends. I couldn't let my friends see that I still talked to Diego, ever since the break up, my friends especially Lucy asked me to keep my distance away. It was a difficult task to do because we had work and school together.
               “What was that about?” Lucy asked me.
               “What?”
               “You know what, Diego.”
I changed the topic; I was not comfortable talking about Diego with my friends, I felt that they were going to judged if I told them I was not completely over him. My mind was overworked that afternoon, I just wanted to go home and sleep, I enough drama for one day. The final bell rang, I got up from my seat and walked out the classroom, as I walked to my car I crossed paths with Diego, “Can we talk now?” he asked, I gave him a look, and said, “I have to go to work.” and he replied,“I know but after?” What did Diego have to tell me? I thought,  it must be something important if he keeps bothering me. “Fine. Just leave me alone.”
 
I reached to the parking lot and I saw Ricardo waiting for me by my car. Oh great, now was I going to tell him the truth, I can’t lie to him, one because I don’t know how to and second I hate lying to people. “Hey.” He takes me in his arms and starts kissing me. I pulled away. "What's wrong?" he asked. "I haven't seen you all day." He was waiting for an answer, I grab my car keys and open the door, "Well I know, sorry, I was a bit busy today." He kissed me, "Its okay, so hey I was wondering before you head to work if could do something.” I check the time.
               “Sure.” I smiled.
This was a perfect time to tell him about USC. I knew if he loved me the way I think he does, I knew that he would respect whatever decision I made. We drove to Tierra Mia,
               “You know me so well.” I told him.
               “Ricardo, I got my acceptance letter from USC.”
               “What?”
               “Yeah, can you believe it? I got in.” I started to gloat.
He stood up and gave me a hug. “Congrats babe.” He kissed me, “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I’m confused which school to go to?” As soon as I told him about my doubts there was an silence, I saw it in his face that he was disappointed but I didn't want to say anything.
               “I thought we were going to UCLA together.”
               “Yeah but that’s when I thought I wasn’t going to get in USC.”
All of the sudden, Ricardo begun to act strange,
               “Oh, hey it’s getting late, I think we should leave.”
At the point, based on his reaction, I knew that our relationship was falling apart; if my doubts were what upset him, I could only imagine how he would react when I told him that I decided to go to USC.
 
 
TO BE CONTINUED.....
   
 



 

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